The beginning
I found the idea of a blogging quite nice, because all of you who are interested in my work and are curious how I got here and what life has brought me, you can read about it here. The only thing is that I’m not the best writer, and not a native English speaker… I hope that I will improve over time :) - Thank you Brecht for helping me with the grammar!
You already read the short version in the about section, for the more extended version, keep on reading!
It all started when the police notified me that my dad had died. He was my only parent who was always there, even when he had his own struggles. I then notified my sister and we had a lot of work to do in a very short period. Dad had just moved to Portugal to enjoy a bit more of life. I took the plane as soon as I could to meet my sister in Portugal, who was already on her way from her vacation in Spain. It was a very numb period for me, I shut my mind down and just coped with life the best that I could.
I couldn’t escape the feelings however, nothing made sense and I felt very lost. I missed a few moments at work, so the load kept building up, and me being a perfectionist and hard worker struggled against this current and tried my best to make the mountain smaller. For those who know a bit of mental health, this is a red flag and not healthy at all. I was warned and therapy just kept me barely afloat. I waited until January had passed because this is a busy and important month for accountants, then I waited because my mountain started growing again and the energy was low, every day I counted every minute until I could go home, do the bare minimum and go to bed. I kept on doing this until my sleep kept getting worse… I woke up on Monday 17th March and I slept even worse, didn’t find the energy to go to work so I discussed it with my husband and I went to the doctor. He gave me a few weeks as a start to relax and wind down. This was not enough, even with therapy. I couldn’t relax, had so many feelings and felt utterly stuck… I had the energy to get out of bed and go to the sofa, feeding myself, do a little bit of house chores or even nothing at all and that’s how I spent my days. On a good day, I could draw a bit or play some Guild Wars 2, but most days I was mindlessly consuming TV. Today is the 30th June and I found the creative love for painting and drawing again and it keeps my mind a bit clearer. I still have a long way to go, but this start is my own therapy to get better. Many people were blown away from my work and certain people encouraged me to make a platform where people can see my work and can even ‘hire’ me for something creative. This is the beginning of a new chapter in my life and as many artists dream, I hope I can get enough recognition that I can work part-time and be even more creative.
Thank you for reading and see you in the next blog. <3